i really really really dont want to post this because its such a RAHHHH subject-.- and i want my blog to be dead! dead dead dead DIEEE D:

but okay la really no choice already! and i hope you read this because i dont want to talk to you straight so i hope you get the message.

GIVE ME TIME LAH.

i know you wanna make up.
i know you have good intentions and all that shit
but im not ready, okay?

im still hurting.
im still very insecure about talking to you, okay?
after all that bitching-
its very scary

i mean,
i gotta admit la.
im alot less scared of you
and freaked out by you
after the email and stuff

but;

DONT BUG US-.-

im still freaked out by you, okay?

its just very;
RAAAHHH-.-

and dont try to talk to me now about this
dont, dont attempt to clear up stuff.
not now.
give me time-
at least wait until after ndp.
because now i want to concentrate on ndp, okay?
she has ord to worry about too.
we're busy people.


leave us alone for another couple of weeks.


thank you.

it was supposed to be the best day ever

i cant remember the last time i felt like i loved redcross so much!(:

okay actually i can. LAST YEAR.

i mean. its all the secone memories coming back! i actually love my yearmates. im actually having fun(:

and for the past couple of weeks, if you said 'REDCROSS', i'd automatically think of ndp, because i love it so much:D

but now- if you yell 'REDCROSS' i'd yell back 'RGSRCY.'

serious. i cant stand it! my legs hurt and my stomach hurts and i still have this huge stupid grin on my face.

ma'ams gave us chocolate cake today!

and yearmates sang me a birthday song(:
i was so happy!:D

but i didnt want to eat the cake coz im on a diet
but i got scolded by the year! HEH.
then they tried to forcefeed me
and convince me to eat it
but to no avail!
-stubborn :x

then we had to report, so they let me off the hook
-for a while.
after falling out, yingling and someone else grabbed me
and chloe and cherie got the cake

and they forcefed me! there and then in the middle of the quadrangle.

and well, i felt super fat!): so i pulled fiona and sprinted one round around the track, while fiona strolled along taking shortcuts (CHEATERRR!)

then after that, still not enough! so i got sihui and we ran some more(:

and now i have pretty bad leg cramps from sprinting so much without stretching!

BUT I DONT REALLY CARE(:

we had music and dance today! yay yay(: i love music&dance. its like my favourite module, besides cooking of course :D the music teacher has a scary voice though-.- its so pro!

i really dont like blogs): or blogging. because when you look back at your entries you go 'OMG I SAID THAT WTH SO STUPID-.-' and freak out about how many people saw that.

okay fine maybe my blogs arent read by alot of people. but still. its a worrying thought lor :x

anyway. KAILIN! im so amused(: youre taking so much interest in a guy youve never met before. and just through a group photo! lol. DONT WORRY DARLING I'LL HELP YOU FIND OUT MORE. HAHA(x

im scared of doing too much.

i love the beach!

i just spent approximately two hours just sitting in the sand writing and drawing(:

PRETTY HEARTS(:


yay.

http://radioblogclub.com/open/38548/3/best_friend_toy_box

CLICKKKKK!((: best friend and superstar are damn nice man.

hahahh i think best friend by TOYBOX is super cute :D yay!

on more moody issues, though;

i cant decide whether to forgive her or not.
i mean.
i have to admit i softened.
but im scared :x
what if a repeat incident occurs?
it isnt the first time yknow.

i dont know-
an ex best friend deserves an explanation,
dont you think?

well yeah,
i was pretty against the idea of forgiving her in the start.

but then these words keep reverbrating in my mind;

[09:10:56 PM] i dunno. i shldn't discrcminate
[09:11:00 PM] it's something i felt i shld do
[09:11:15 PM] my squadmate, my ex-frn leh.

ex-friend.
shes an ex BEST friend yknow.
no matter what she did.
no matter how much she hurt you.
no matter how pissed you got.

JOYCE YOU ARE A FREAKING HYPOCRITE-.-
you told someone to do one thing,
when you do the exact opposite.
and when that person achieves it-
you cant.

you could defend phoebe
against a GOOD FRIEND.

what made her different?
this was against another best friend.
and i didnt agree with her actions.
and she turned against me too.

do you know how freaking hurtful it is when youre accused of siding with someone when you were trying so hard to make it up and be extra nice to the other person?

i didnt want to be extra nice, to be honest
its so bias.
and you had already started the really mean attacks
but i thought, since i spent so much time with her,
i'd try and be nicer to you
for that one hour.













ahh. whatever la.

we got booked for truancy today :x and i was thinking 'fifth dc!'

i cant stand how i take these bookings so lightly-.- but take relationships so much more seriously.